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theIDIOT

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muhd syaMIM bin norman.
legally 18
29sep1990
the undercover liar

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layout designer and image: eloquent
date: Feb 15, 2009
title: lights will guide you home.
time: 6:05 AM

valentine's day has just passed. it started great, sweet moments in the middle but ended not so good for me. currently, i am right now sitting on my bed, drowning myself with sad, emo songs. no, not any emo bands like that. empty by click five, realisi by colbie caillat, your call by secondhand serenade, life in technicolor by coldplay are just one of the few songs in my current playlist. why am i so down, i will get back to that later. now lets see how it began on the day of love.

okay, seriously, valentine's day is actually just another day on the calendar.why was it so important to me because it will be the first time i will be going out with her, just the two o us, without her worrying about her projects. she was late, but i didnt mind. it was a first for me to be early for something for quite some time now. i had no plan at al on what to do that day. when i met her, i present to her, in my eyes, the most beautiful bouquet of roses. she was shocked of cos, but liked it too. since it was early to eat dinner, we headed to starbucks to get some drinks and smoked together. we were at vivocity by the way. i intended to bring her to henderson waves, but in the end we went this beautiful place at keppel bay. and it wasnt even near crowded. i wont tell you guys where, but if you guys happen to discover that place, get ready to be amazed. neither of us brought a camera which was quite a waste. so we sat there till after sunset and proceeded to seah im to eat. yes, seah im, a kopitiam beside harbourfront interchange. my plan was maybe dinner at pizza hut or pastamania. but she being the simple girl she is, said why not seah im and we could save money. after dinner, we headed to powerhouse for awhile, bla bla bla, and both of us decided to leave early. that was when moments start to suck. i just wanted to be with her longer but she had to go home. i am okay with that. after she got into a cab and i proceeded to the busstop, i messaged her i had a great night and wishin her happy valentine's day. the reply that came after that really drowned myself in confussion, sadness and anxiety.

she replied "your welcome bro. happy vday. =)". bro? did she reply me bro maybe she was tired and all, as she was talking about her friends cum brothers at keppel bay when we chatted. or is it she really sees me as a bro only? maybe i am expecting, or assuming, too much. but one cant help but to wonder right. and ironically, the song playing now is blurry by puddle of mudd. "everything's so blurry..." i am afraid to ask her, of what she thinks of me as. i need you readers, yes you, help me out. what should i do? i know i have been told by her friends to take a slow and easy, and i have been doing that. but i just cant help but wonder about the bro part. i am just thinking too much. where are my listening buddies when i need them, especially sufi, hidayat and fardly. dudes, you guys can help me the most. damn. i hate this feeling that is building up inside me. the feeling of sorrow, sadness and emo-ism. help anybody?

cheers.