date: Sep 4, 2008
title: flights of fancy
i wish i could fly. fly to wherever my mind takes me. looking down on earth to see everybody living life with happiness. well, not all as the world aint perfect. anyway, my point is everyone around syamim is happy with whatever fate is giving them. let me continue this later.
today marks the fourth day of the fasting month. so far, i am holding up good. the first three days i have been rotting at home with my xbox and pc games. so much for finding a job. procrastinate again and again. tomorrow syamim, tomorrow after friday prayers. get your ass to an interview. anyway, for the first three days of fasting month, i didnt smoke! and hell, i was doing okay. but the addiction was still there so finally, i had my taste of tobacco today when i broke fast with rusdy and liana at geylang. phew, they were my saviour. i had nasi goreng kampung, which was, umm, like any other nasi goreng my mum cooks, which she cooks it better. and a funny incident happened. there was this uncle, drink stall helper. rusdy and liana ordered ice lemon tea. he took a long time but it was okay as there were many orders. he came back to repeat his order and took my order as i had just arrived. the third he came back, he got my redbull order, but gave them green tea instead. we told ice lemon tea and he went back to change. the next time he came, guess what, he brought soya bean. it was freaking hilarious. he apologised again and this time came back with ice lemon tea. but kudos for him and his hardwork serving a lot of customers. met up with ciara after that and we went through the streets of geylang serai. as it was still the early month of ramadhan, geylang was not so packed. hang out under a block after a while. sang songs, smoked, ate vadeh, smoked, drank a-drink-we-bought-at-the-pasar-malam-but-i-forgot-the-name-of-the-drink, and smoked. we made a move around 10plus, caught a cab home, and i ate again at home. actually, i feel i am eating more during fasting month. i do need the extra weight anyway.
i just read someone's blog and why does this feeling of heartbroken keep coming back to me when i know i lost and moved on. number five syamim, number five. maybe its my lifestyle. hey, i am a happy-go-lucky guy, where anything goes. i live my life as i want it to be. i set my own standards, my own goals, my own dreams. it is exactly nine months, no i aint pregnant, of being single. i aint despo people, but seriously, i envy them. i dont blame her for that "curse" anymore, i dont blame others for has already been done and heck, i am not blaming myself. no one is to blame i guess.
on the other hand, what would you do if you have feelings for someone, but is seriously hard for that person to notice you. maybe that someone already knew you had something going on for him/her, maybe not. you did once told that person and it all backfired but your heart is still for him/her. the people around you tell you to be patient and wait for him/her. but how long are you going to wait. in a situation, him/her friend questions you, "what more can you give him/her, besides the company and all-the-things-that-friends-can-offer?". some people will be dumbfounded and find it hard to reply to such question. but in my opinion, its not what i can give her, its what we could achieve together. the wait may be long, and you may not exactly get what you wish for, but if you succeed, you will appreciate that someone more and be grateful with what you achieve.
damn, i sound so emo-ish, not syamim-ish. what the hell am i typing.
okay, happy moments now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASYRAF!!!!
my cousin turns 19 years old and a year to 20, which means no more a teen and closer to getting white hair earlier than me. dude, when are you going to take up a license, any license for godsake. i think i am going to get a license before you, even though my birthday is at the end of the month. okay, its kind of late for a birthday wish but i hope you had enjoyed your day. and happy fasting too. see you this sunday at grandma's place.
that is all folks. the need to smoke is back. cigarettes! i miss you the most!
cheers.
|